Dreams

Last night I had some unpleasant dreams as a result of letting go of some of my stuff. In the dreams I spent the night in my childhood bedroom but the windows were wide open and the rain had come in during the night and spoiled my precious things. It felt worrying and bad and as if the walls had become baggy and no longer protective.

I can't say exactly why I have such strong emotional attachments to things. I think it's more that I fear how I will feel if I regret letting go. Whilst I'm clearing I have such thoughts as "what if I can never afford another of these again?; this item is a one off and this is my only chance to have it; this signature on this card is all I have left of my Dad" etc. It's as if my things or what they represent are my protective walls and closed windows.

Letting go is a difficult process and the above feelings seem to be a normal part of it. After a while they go and there is a feeling of calm.

My minimalist starting point.

Today I put 10 books in a charity bag. I emptied out my underwear drawer and admitted to myself I only wear plain, comfortable knickers most of the time. I kept a few frilly ones but disposed of several carrier bags of knickers, tights and uncomfortable bras. In reality I don't need much underwear at any one time as it constantly gets recycled round and round in the wash. I skimmed out a few bits of "cack" from our shower room which is my minimalist starting point. I'm pretty pleased with it!